


Unexpected Responsibilities

by saucyminx



Series: Unexpected Verse [9]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-14
Updated: 2010-12-14
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:43:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night when Jared gets sick and Jensen has a nightmare, then another when they learn what it would mean to be parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jared’s day had sucked. To begin with, he made it to the office late because he just couldn’t seem to get his ass in gear. When he opened his office door there was a stack of paperwork on his desk about a foot high. Donna had finally finished off her part of the case files which, basically, meant it was all for Jared to work on next. By the time lunch came around Jared realized that _his_ lunch was still in the fridge exactly where Jensen had reminded him it was the night before.

After developing one _hell_ of a headache and finally realizing that he was just staring at the same page; Jared gave up. Stopping by Donna’s office he left her a note saying he was going home sick. He figured a good night’s rest and some super special Jensen care and love would make him right as rain by the next morning.

The drive home felt about a million time longer than usual and Jared had never been more relieved when he finally pulled into the driveway and turned the truck off. Groaning he let his head drop to the steering wheel and closed his eyes. If it weren’t for the fact that Jensen was a mere ten or twenty feet away Jared might consider sleeping in the truck.

Pushing the door open Jared slid out of the truck and was already loosening his tie as he unlocked the front door and stepped inside. “Jen?”

Leaning against the wall, Jared slipped out of his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket. “Jensen?”

The voice of his husband surprised Jensen and he looked up from his paper on early art of the American people - admittedly a little pleased for the distraction because the subject he was currently writing on couldn’t possibly be more dull. It was however a little surprising for Jared to be home earlier than usual and Jensen glanced at his phone to check the time just to make sure he hadn’t really zoned out that bad.

Heading out to the hallway, Jensen smiled softly and walked toward Jared, automatically stepping forward into his embrace. “Hey you, what are you doing home? Not that I’m not pleased about it.”

“I don’t feel so great. Just having an off day - figured there was only one thing that would possibly make me feel better.” Leaning back against the wall and sighing Jared tightened his arms around Jensen and held him close. “Yeah, that. That’s what I was lookin’ for.”

Chuckling quietly, Jensen laid his head on Jared’s chest and thought that his husband had a good point. Their lives were so crazy now-a-days, Jensen was struggling to catch up with school after everything that had happened and he knew Jared was trying to make some order to his case loads to make up for the time he’d had off after Jensen was in the hospital. It wasn’t that big of a surprise that he could be getting sick.

“Want me to make you some soup?” Jensen offered after a few minutes of simply resting together. “We could relax on the couch, watch a movie. Anything to ignore my paper.”

“I would _love_ that.” The thought of just curling up with Jensen at his side was about the best possible end to his day. “Come on.”

Pushing off the wall Jared slung his arm over Jensen’s shoulders and pulled his tie off over his head. “I _hate_ wearing these things,” he muttered. Looping the tie over Jensen’s head Jared smiled and headed toward the couch. He didn’t even have the energy to change.

“Ties make you look sexy,” Jensen pointed out with a small smirk, fingering the tie for a moment. He waited until Jared found a comfortable position on the couch then climbed up to tuck against his side, pulling the blanket off the back to lay over them both. He’d never get tired of this; cuddling with Jared on the couch just like he always had, as if his body had a perfect nitch against Jared’s. “So, I know you probably vote for Twilight but how about something that requires little thinking and won’t make me stab my eyes out later?”

“Put on whatever you want.” Jared huffed a small laugh and shifted a little so he could fold Jensen into his arms. Sighing wearily Jared rested his chin on the top of Jensen’s tousled hair. “I have so much paperwork; I’m not going to be out in the field for weeks. Probably till after Christmas unless anything _big_ happens.”

“God I hope nothing big happens,” Jensen muttered, glancing up when Jared shifted slightly. “Seriously, after the kidnapping, you know and everything, we need nothing big for a while. I know office work sucks but I’d rather you be doing that for the time being.” Picking some random B movie playing on FX, Jensen tossed the remote to the side and shifted to get more comfortable. “You’ll be in the field before you know it.”

“You study all day? What did you say? Paper?” Jared’s mind was a little foggy. There were still pieces of his case files roaming around in his brain. Slipping his fingers under Jensen’s shirt Jared moaned happily. “God, you’re so warm.”

Jensen was getting better about not inching away when Jared touched the now scaring marks on his chest but he did tense, for just a moment. Then Jared was making that pleased little noise again and Jensen released the breath he’d held. “Yeah, catching up on school work. If I can get in a few major assignments I might even pass this semester.”

Jared spread his fingers out on the warm skin of Jensen's side and closed his eyes. "You'll pass; you're too hard on yourself." Taking a deep breath, Jared frowned. "Do I feel warm to you?" He felt really drained and Jensen was like a living electric blanket which was making Jared sleepy.

Reaching up, Jensen laid the back of his hand over Jared’s brow and frowned. He did feel warm, really warm. “Yeah. I should take your temperature.” Jensen shifted to move off Jared but the man held him tight. “You might have a fever or something Jared.”

Smiling slightly, Jared nosed through Jensen's hair without bothering to open his eyes. The familiar scent of Jensen's hair was soothing, and Jared let himself sink down into the soft couch cushions. "You'll make me feel better. Always do." Slipping one hand down the back of Jensen's jeans Jared blew out a long breath. "How you feeling today?"

“Clearly better than you,” Jensen sighed the words and shifted back slightly, looking up at his husband. He didn’t look particularly pale or flushed so maybe he wasn’t as bad. “You know how it goes.” Jensen shrugged and settled back against Jared once more. “Sometimes the crowds are easier to deal with, sometimes it’s just...” he trailed off, not certain he could put what it _just_ was in words.

"Just what?" Jared blinked his eyes open slowly and smiled down at Jensen. He knew that Jensen was still struggling with the aftermath of his attack. Hell, they were all still struggling with what had happened - but Jensen had the most to process. Without even thinking Jared slid the pads of his fingers along one of Jensen's scars.

Swallowing thickly, Jensen shrugged and turned his gaze away. “Just, sometimes I feel like I just want to scream. There’s all these people, walking constantly around me, brushing into my sides, and sometimes they look at me and I swear they know exactly who I am, they think they know me-” Jensen cut off sharply and bit his lip, shaking his head. “Okay, I’m not supposed to dwell on that, the therapist says so.”

Jared turned to press his lips to Jensen's temple briefly. "Time, it'll just take some time. You know - you're crazy brave. Did I ever tell you that?" They didn't avoid speaking about what had happened to Jensen but Jared didn't bring it up. He knew that Jensen was still healing, maybe a part of him always would be, but Jared knew that there was something special about Jensen. A special kind of strength.

“Maybe once or twice in all our years together.” Jensen laughed softly and reached out to pat Jared’s chest. “Get some sleep Jare, I’ll wake you for some soup later okay?” It wasn’t like he didn’t want to tell Jared how crazy out of his mind he felt sometimes but he knew when his husband was sick wasn’t the best time for that.

"It'll all be okay, Jensen. I promise." Jared's voice was soft, sleepy, his arms relaxing even as he still keep hold of his husband. "I promise."

“I know. It always is,” Jensen whispered and stroked his hand up through Jared’s hair, encouraging him to fall asleep. Jared need to catch the thing early and sleep it off or he’d try and go to work sick and Jensen would not allow that.

-=-=-=-

Jensen half watched the movie as Jared slept beneath him, his chest even with each slow breath. He would have gotten up and gone to work on his paper again but instinct and love had him staying with Jared, just to be safe. When he did rise at least a couple of hours had past and Jared was still completely out.

Hunting around in the kitchen Jensen found the thermometer and snuck back into the living room, kneeling beside his husband. He slipped the small cylinder under Jared’s tongue and waited, turning off the TV. When the thermometer beeped Jensen pulled it free and frowned at the 100.1 printed on the screen.

“Alright,” Jensen whispered and pushed up, gently kissing Jared’s temple and tucking the blanket further over him before heading to the kitchen.

He started up a pot of water on the burner to make soup before grabbing his phone and calling his mom. When she didn’t answer he left a message, explaining how high Jared’s temp was and telling - not asking - her that Jared would not be coming to work the next day. He could take a sick day, Jensen was sure of it.

Jensen didn’t wake Jared until the soup was ready, carrying the bowl out to the living room and setting it on the table then gently lifting his husband’s head and scooting under until Jared was pillowed in his lap. “Jare? Wake up you silly boy,” he murmured softly and stroked Jared’s hair back, smiling down at him.

Snorting softly Jared turned his head into Jensen's stomach and smiled. "Boy?" His head felt a little off, like it was full of air and he shivered slightly. “You been here all the time?”

“Well, no. It’s been a few hours. I’ve been here most of it.” Jensen wet his lips, wondering how upset Jared might be about him calling his mom about Jared being sick. “I made some soup. And, I took your temp. You’re not going to work tomorrow.”

Jared slipped his hand between Jensen's back and the couch. "Y'what? How … sneak," Jared muttered. The thing was he actually felt crappy enough that he was kind of thankful. Pulling the blanket up higher around his neck, Jared shivered again. "You tired? What time is it?" The evening had been a bit of a blur so far.

“Just about seven. I made some soup; once you eat some I’ll get you some medicine.” Jensen didn’t have to take care of Jared very often but it was kind of appealing to think about doing so. “Then you must go to bed and I must finish my paper. Feel up to eating?”

Jared shook his head and nestled down on Jensen’s lap. “G’head and do your paper.” He didn’t want to move, his head was aching and Jensen’s thigh was warm and firm. “I was dreamin’,” Jared muttered.

“What were you dreaming about?” Jensen asked softly and shifted forward grabbing the bowl and bringing it slowly back with him. “Couple spoonfuls okay? Just so the meds have something to sit on.” Jensen lifted the spoon and slowly brought it to Jared’s lips, trying not to laugh. “I will spoon feed you if I have too.”

"God, you're bossy," Jared mumbled. Sitting up slightly he frowned and rubbed his hand at his face before dipping down to suck the soup off the spoon. If Jensen wanted to feed him, it wasn't like Jared was actually going to protest. A slight smile tugged at his mouth and he groaned as he swung on the couch and dropped his feet to the floor. "That's good."

“Well of course, I wasn’t going to poison you.” Jensen laughed quietly and gathered up another spoonful, grinning at Jared as he brought it over to the man’s lips. “By the way, you have a temp of 100.1, if you’re curious.”

“Not curious - ‘cept for how you did it.” Jared reached out for the bowl of soup after taking one more spoonful from Jensen. Swirling the spoon through the soup, Jared stared down at the bowl. “I was dreaming about us having a kid. Isn’t that crazy? That’s crazy right?”

“Well, it’s not like we haven’t spoken about it.” Jensen shrugged trying not to think about the way it had felt last year when they’d had that conversation over Christmas. “But it’s definitely not something we should talk about now. Was it a good dream?”

“Yeah, I was - we were learning how to play hockey.” Jared shook his head slowly and lifted another spoonful of soup to his mouth. Swallowing, he smiled at Jensen and leaned back against the couch. “You kept falling over and complaining about the cold.”

“So I’m a whiny bitch in your dreams?” Jensen snorted a laugh and climbed off the couch, heading into the kitchen to grab the medicine he’d set out. Returning to Jared’s side, Jensen sat beside him, holding up the Nyquil pills and a glass of water. “Have you been thinking about the kid thing? Or was this fever induced?”

“Sometimes, I think about what it might be like.” Leaning forward Jared set the half full bowl of soul on the coffee table and took the medicine. Taking the water, Jared tossed the pills into his mouth and swallowed some of the water. It was cool and soothing on his throat. “I don’t know much about kids.” Putting the water back down Jared let himself fall against Jensen’s side. “I need love.”

Wrapping his arms around Jared, Jensen smiled softly and gently kissed his temple. “Hey, why don’t I ask Josh if we can watch the baby for a day? You know, just to see how it would be. She’s sitting up now, that could be a lot of fun.” He gently rubbed along Jared’s back, trying to be as soothing as he could.

Looking up, Jared peered at Jensen through one open eye. “Sure, we could do that. Bet they’d like a day off.” Jared closed his eyes again and brushed his hair back off his forehead. “I should go to bed. Or something.”

“Yeah, bed is good. I have my laptop already set up in there so I’ll be right there beside you.” Jensen stood and took Jared’s bowl, eating a few spoonfuls. With as close as they were together, Jensen was doomed to get sick too, so he might as well not let good soup go to waste. “Head to bed Mister, I’ll be there in a few.”

Nodding, Jared stood and took a few long breaths. Lingering there, he watched Jensen; he hated going to bed without his husband. "You're coming right away?"

Pursing his lips to hide his smile, Jensen set the soup back down and stepped toward his husband, fingers slipping along the back of the man’s neck. “Just gonna put the soup away and get a drink. You’re cute when you’re sick.” He leaned up, kissing Jared softly.

Pressing his lips together Jared frowned. “I’m gross,” he tugged at his shirt and wrestled with the buttons. He felt a little hot then, even though he’d been cold a few moments before. “Come now; leave the soup.” Jared’s fingers hooked over Jensen’s waist band.

“You’re never gross, I promise.” Jensen smiled and gave in to Jared’s request, of course. He led the man down the hallway to their bedroom. Just inside the room he stopped and helped Jared out of his shirt. “One day, I’m gonna make us millionaires because of my art. We’ll buy a farm and you can retire from the force and we’ll grow corn or something. We can adopt twin boys and dress them in plaid and straw hats.” Jensen spoke as he helped Jared out of his clothes, amused smile on his lips.

“That sounds like a horror movie or somethin’.” Smiling slightly, Jared undid his pants and dropped them so he could step out of them. “No son of mine is wearing a straw hat. He’ll wear a cowboy hat.” Taking a step forward, Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand.

“Alright fine, a cowboy hat. Oh, we can get horses and you can teach them to ride.” Jensen led Jared over to the bed, pulling the blanket back and hovering nearby as Jared climbed in. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Jared so unsteady before. “Then, when the boys are about eight or nine, we’ll adopt a little girl and she’ll be the Princess of our family.”

“I thought you were the Princess.” Jared wrestled with the blankets for a few moments trying to pull them up to his chin, and then gave up. “Now, I’m cold again. Did I lock the front door when I came in?” Jared pushed up onto his elbow and considered heading back to check but it seemed like an awfully long way.

“I’ll go check. And I am not the Princess.” Jensen laughed, heading out of the room before Jared could protest. He hurried quickly through cleaning up the soup, checking the lock on the door then flipping off the lights. He expected Jared to already be asleep so he pulled off his shirt, being as quiet as possible. “Love you,” Jensen whispered, leaning down to gently kiss his husband’s temple.

“You sleepin’ or you gonna do that … stuff. School.” Jared yawned and nestled down under the covers. He could sleep if he knew that Jensen wasn’t very far away.

“I’ve got to finish my paper and email it in so I don’t have to go to class tomorrow. But I’ll be quiet I promise.” Jensen moved around to his side of the bed, shifting the pillows so he could sit against the headboard and put the laptop on his thighs. Looking down at Jared, Jensen smiled at the hair flopped everywhere on the pillow. “Can you keep growing your hair out? I love it long.”

"Mmhmm." Rolling over Jared got as close to Jensen as he could without getting in the way of his laptop. "If we have a son, can we give him your dad's name..." He yawned again and his body shivered as he looked up. "Give him a middle name or somethin'?" Jared couldn't keep his eyes open anymore and formed his body to Jensen's side.

“That would be really nice,” Jensen whispered, running his thumb over Jared’s cheek then waiting to see that Jared had dozed off. Jensen stared until Jared’s lips parted in a silent dream moan and Jensen had to admit that his procrastinating was getting a little ridiculous. He definitely had to finish the paper before he got sick as well.

-=-=-=-

 _A cold chill was soaking into Jensen’s skin and before his eyes even opened the trickle of familiar fear curled through him. His breath caught, cry strangle by the piece of duct tape over his lips. Every inch of Jensen ached and he looked around the warehouse with wide, watery eyes._

 _He always came back to this place; sometimes so often Jensen wasn’t sure if he’d ever left. He tried to tell himself that this wasa dream, that he was there in bed with Jared, that this would pass. But the flash of the man’s sneer and cold eyes had bile rising in the back of Jensen’s throat and this couldn’t be a dream._

 _Jensen saw the flash of silver, heard the harsh swell of a bone chilling laugh, and he tried to struggle back but he was stuck. The blade dug and sliced along Jensen’s chest, pressing deeper, harder._

 _This time it didn’t stop._

 _The man carved and pressed in deeper, splitting Jensen’s skin and muscles and he screamed and kicked but he couldn’t move. No one could hear him. He was all alone and he was going to die here and he hadn’t even got to experience everything he so desperately wanted._

 _Sharp stings of pain made Jensen’s body lurch forward but duct tape kept him restricted and all Jensen could see was those eyes, full of hatred and anger. This would be the last thing he saw before he died and no amount of screaming would save him._

Jared's heart was pounding the instant he was awake and it only took seconds for him to realize Jensen needed him. Trying to push up so he was sitting, Jared swayed for a few moments and Jensen's legs kicked out, his cries getting louder. Shaking his head slowly, Jared turned and grabbed Jensen's arms, holding them there so he didn't get smacked again. "Jensen? Jen. Wake up love - come on."

Sliding one hand up Jensen's chest, Jared smoothed his fingers over Jensen's flushed cheeks, then his brow - all pulled tight and worried. "God, wake up Jen. I'm right here." Shifting a little closer, Jared slipped his arm under Jensen's neck and leaned down closer. "Hey, Jensen, wake up." He hated when Jensen had these dreams, it was terrifying to watch Jensen sink back into that world.

The pull from the dream was sluggish, everything blurring at the edges and slowly fading away. In a moment of panic Jensen thought he couldn’t get his eyes open but then he was staring through tears at his husband before he lunged forward, nearly scrambling up onto Jared’s body. He couldn’t stop the shake of his body and he clung hard to Jared, his cries surprisingly silent even as hot tears burned down his cheeks.

Jared's heart ached for his husband. "God, Jen, I don't know how to make this go away," Jared said softly. Rolling onto his back, Jared cradled his husband’s head and held him close, feeling the shaking of his sobs and kissing the tears on his cheeks. "It's okay, I got you now - just like I came for you then." _Never_ again. No one would ever hurt Jensen again.

Sucking in slow, deep breaths, Jensen tried to speak but he couldn’t. He nodded instead, slowly coming back to reality. He forced his eyes to stay open because he could see that man when they closed and he couldn’t face it. Not now. Jensen didn’t think he was nearly as strong as Jared said he was. “Jared,” he finally managed to whisper, slumping against his husband, feeling suddenly weak and boneless.

“S’okay,” Jared murmured. His hand rubbed small circle on Jensen’s back, feeling the sweat cooling on his husband’s back. The nightmares, when they came were brutal and drained Jensen, leaving him shaking and weak. “Can you tell me?”

“Just...” Jensen could finally feel the shake easing off, just barely, leaving him completely exhausted from being so brutally woken by his dream. “Same thing. That warehouse.” Jensen had never known how to describe it, how to make someone really grasp the enormity of what happened to him. “Feels like, this is the dream. And I’m really still there.”

“It’s not real anymore,” Jared whispered. His hands slid up and down Jensen’s back, feeling the way his husband was still panting slightly, fear still clinging to him. “It _was_ very real though - and I know I don’t understand but I will never let anyone hurt you again. Okay?” Hands moving up into Jensen’s hair, Jared tugged gently till Jensen lifted his head and their eyes could meet. “It’s okay to be terrified, fuck, Jensen... this was so - I don’t even have the right words. But - I promise, I’m always here now.” Jared would do anything to protect Jensen, absolutely anything.

“I know. I know you are.” Jensen didn’t want to say the little ‘what ifs’ that lived in his mind. He had been told by his therapist not to dwell on them and he was _trying_. Frowning, Jensen sat back a little and looked up at Jared. “You’re sick. I’m sorry, you need to get rest.”

“M’okay.” Jared reached up and pulled Jensen back down against his chest. “Stay, you make me feel better.” And, Jensen rarely had nightmares when he was lying across Jared’s body, maybe it was the warmth or just the feeling of their bodies so close together. “You want to talk?”

“I don’t know what to say,” Jensen answered honestly and let himself relax against Jared. “Sometimes I feel like the only time I really escape the fear is when my mind is completely focused on something. Like, it’s always lingering there.”

“It will get better - Jensen, that was a huge thing you went through. I know I keep saying that but I’m not sure you completely understand it.” Jared sniffed and rubbed at his eye before dropping his hand back to Jensen’s shoulder blade. “We’ll just keep moving forward.” Jared had no other answers, no suggestions; all he could offer was that he would always be there for Jensen. Closing his eyes against the throbbing ache in his head Jared slipped his fingers up into Jensen’s hair.

“I know we will.” Jensen agreed quietly. He’d been a little skittish after the attack his Senior year, Jensen knew how people got over things and moved on. This was a thousand times bigger though. Shifting forward Jensen slanted his lips over Jared’s, not caring about morning breath or Jared being sick. Sometimes feeling was a matter of as much touch as possible.

Humming quietly Jared could feel the tension in Jensen’s body and pressed up slightly into the kiss. His fingers gripped Jensen’s hair tightly, locking him there in the moment. Moaning quietly he looped his free hand over Jensen’s waist, keeping their bodies flush together.

The kiss rapidly shifted from gently to harder, faster as Jensen pressed almost painful against his husband’s lips. When he pulled back with a jerk of his head he was panting his eyes fixed down at Jared. And the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could even realize he was saying them, “Sometimes I think I might turn into him. That I’ll just keep dwelling on it and it will fuck up my brain and I’ll be just like him.”

“Oh, Jensen.” It was so like Jared’s husband to think something like that. “Jensen you could _never_ be like him, not ever. You’re not - you’re just - you're the complete opposite of everything that dark and evil. You’re just so full of love.” Jared’s mind was spinning a little bit and his lips were still buzzing from the urgency of Jensen’s kiss.

“Will you tell me though? If I start doing something weird, something that could lead to that?” Jensen didn’t really want to think about it anymore, he wished he could just bundle it away in his mind and hide it somewhere to never be seen again. So he dipped down and slowly started to kiss along Jared’s neck, hitting all the places he knew his husband liked best.

“You’re still the same as the day I met you,” Jared murmured. Turning his head to the side, Jared let Jensen’s lips soothe away the aches in his body; take his mind away from the way he felt. “You’ll never change.”

Jensen didn’t want to tell Jared that he already had changed, that he didn’t feel at all like the boy he once was. Instead, he kissed his way down Jared’s chest, sliding his tongue slowly over Jared’s pierced nipple. “I don’t know what I would do without you,” he whispered in between the slow glide of his tongue. “I couldn’t make it.”

“Don’t have to,” Jared whispered. Fingers grazing over the cool flesh of Jensen’s hips, Jared closed his eyes and focused on the silky drag of Jensen’s lips and tongue. “I couldn’t make it without you. We’re even,” letting his head fall back, Jared closed his eyes.

Humming softly Jensen slid his hand down Jared’s chest, lingering along the edge of his briefs before sliding lower. Finding Jared not hard had his hand withdrawing almost immediately and he cleared his throat and shifted up. “Sorry, guess we should probably go to sleep.” He felt oddly embarrassed about his needy attitude; it wasn’t like he didn’t know Jared was sick. This should be about Jared, not Jensen. “You need anything?”

“You,” Jared murmured. As the adrenaline left his body, he started to feel the tug and bite of his illness again. Jensen’s body was warm and heavy and Jared tightened his grip a little. He remembered how afraid he’d been when Jensen was missing; the hole that opened up inside his chest. Shivering slightly he turned into Jensen’s hair and whispered, “Can’t lose you ever.”

“You won’t.” Jensen quietly reassured and shifted to get comfortable on Jared’s body. “I’m always going to be yours.” Jensen gently pressed a kiss to Jared’s jaw and sighed. “Back to sleep? Still feeling crappy?”

The last thing Jared wanted to do was worry Jensen. “Just really tired,” he mumbled into his husband’s hair. Jensen smelled clean and sweet and like _home_.

“Okay, you just go back to sleep,” Jensen whispered and smoothed his hand back through Jared’s hair. He wasn’t sure he could sleep at this point but there wasn’t much that could be done about that. So he settled against Jared’s chest, content to just lay there until morning. “Love you,” he murmured a while later to his poor sick husband.

-=-=-=-

When Jensen woke his eyes felt crusty and he was hot, _way_ too hot. Groaning, Jensen tried to roll to the side only to nearly roll off the bed. Thankfully he caught himself before he landed ass down on the carpet. It took him a few minutes to remember why he fell asleep on Jared’s body and then why he was hot in the first place.

Jared was on fire, a damp sweat beading on his forehead and Jensen’s eyes widened. He clambered back quickly, climbing off Jared and pulling the blanket back to try and cool him down. But his husband muttering angrily in his sleep and tugged at the blanket. When Jensen didn’t immediately give it back a faint shiver began in Jared’s arms and Jensen pursed his lips in a frown.

Finally Jensen moved the cover back over Jared’s body and turned, heading out of the room. He was sure Jared had to be running a fever or something, but he had no idea about this medical stuff. So he once more found the thermometer and headed back to the bedroom. Jared barely woke as he took the man’s temperature once more, his eyes widening at the 101.5 displayed on the screen.

Not sure what to do first, Jensen turned and left the room, doing the one thing that seemed to make sense.

“This is Donna,” his mom’s voice filled the phone and even those three little words made Jensen feel just a little bit calmer.

“Mom? Jared’s really sick. He’s sweating and he’s shivering and his temp is 101.5. Should I call 911? Is he gonna be okay? What do I do?” Jensen rambled quickly through the questions, looking around the kitchen with wide eyes.

Donna, his always patient and wonderful mom, laughed softly. “Okay, well first I would suggest not freaking out to the point you pass out, pretty sure that wouldn’t be good for either of you.”

“Mom.” Jensen sighed and - though he’d admit it to no one - stomped his foot down on the kitchen floor.

“Okay Jensen, relax. Jared is going to be just fine. It’s just a fever, I’ve had one, you’ve had one, it happens. I’ll give you some tips to help him feel better okay?”

Grabbing a pen and paper, Jensen nodded then cleared his throat. “Yeah, okay, what do I do?”

-=-=-=-

“Jared?” Jensen whispered softly and sat on the edge of the bed, placing the tray on the nightstand. When his husband only groaned and rolled until he was curving around Jensen then seemingly going back to sleep, Jensen couldn’t help smiling. “Jare? Wake up husband, just for a few minutes.”

Jared’s head was throbbing and his muscles ached. Everywhere. It felt like he’d been beaten in his sleep and he cracked an eye open to look wearily up at Jensen. “No,” he said through clenched teeth. Shivering he pressed closer and buried his head in Jensen’s shirt.

“I know you don’t want too,” Jensen murmured softly and stroked his hand through Jared’s hair. “But I just need you to eat a few crackers, take some medicine okay?” Jensen had a list of instructions from his mom and he was going to do all he could to make Jared better.

Shaking his head slowly, Jared groaned. Even his throat ached. “Not hungry, just need to sleep.” Moving around even the slightest amount made him feel like he was just about drained of energy. Leaning back slightly he tried to focus on Jensen’s face. “Gotta call Donna.”

“Already taken care of,” Jensen continued to murmur, keeping his voice as soothing and gentle as he could. “How about, you eat a few crackers and take some medicine then we can take a bath together? Doesn’t that sound good?” He was dancing the fine line between being gentle and sounding like he was talking to a child but whatever.

Even next to dead Jared was pretty sure he wanted to be next to Jensen no matter where he was. He did feel a little gross. "Hot water and bubbles?" Closing his eyes again Jared squirmed slightly so he could rest his head on Jensen's thigh and held up his hand for a cracker. "Two crackers...that's it."

“Two crackers and a glass of water. Then yes, hot waters and bubbles.” Jensen laughed softly and placed the cracker in Jared’s palm. He’d never seen Jared so sick and he wished had the magical ability to make it all better.

"Head hurts," Jared mumbled before taking a bite out of the cracker. His mouth was already dry and he had a little trouble swallowing but Jensen had the water right there. Smiling slightly, Jared cracked his eyes open again. "You're takin' care of me." He knew he must have a rather self-satisfied look on his face. It didn't last long as he choked on the water and had to struggle to sit up.

“It’s nice to take care of you,” Jensen said softly and shifted in behind Jared’s back, holding him up and slowly rubbing along the slightly damp skin. “You’re temp is worse, we’ve got to break the fever.”

“You’re not going all ninja Jensen and sneaking me into a cold tub or somethin’.” Jared leaned back against his husband and sighed. It wasn’t like he’d actually have the energy to fight.

“Well Mom did say to keep the water cool but you know I hate cold water.” Jensen figured a few little liberties couldn’t be so bad. “You just have to promise to obey my rules, let me take care of you and all. I know you don’t like giving up control.” Jensen pressed a soft kiss to Jared’s shoulder and slipped his arm around the man’s middle, rubbing softly over his middle.

Jared let out a weak snort and rubbed at his face. "I don't have control issues; dunno what you're talkin' about."

“Right, keep telling yourself that, it might even come true some time.” Jensen laughed and reached with his free hand for another cracker. “We both know you have true dominant deep within you and you can’t deny it.”

Taking the cracker, Jared turned slightly as he ate it and gazed up at Jensen.

He was beautiful. His eyes were sparkling, his cheeks a little rosy, skin so soft - Jared's fingers reached up and trailed along Jensen's cheek as he chewed. Jared didn't get sick very often; and frankly, had never had anyone to take care of him since he'd left home - the idea that Jensen would stay with him, kind of made him feel a little weepy. When he felt his eyes start to prickle with tears he turned away. "There, done," he mumbled and rubbed at his face again.

“Okay, medicine.” Jensen helped Jared sit up a little more and slid off the bed, grabbing the medicine and placing it in Jared’s palm. “I’m gonna start filling up the tub, I’ll be back in a few.”

Jensen turned and headed into their bathroom, turning the water on to warm. It wouldn’t be as hot as he and Jared usually preferred - not that they bathed together often but whatever, Jensen didn’t want to put Jared at too much risk. He laughed quietly as he dumped some of the bubble bath into the water. It had been a mostly joking gift from Karen for Jared’s birthday last summer but Jensen had noticed the level slowly going down with time so Jared was obviously using it.

When he came back into the bedroom Jared had curled up under the blanket again and Jensen’s smile softened. “Ready?”

Groaning, Jared took a breath and rolled over. Clutching the blanket under his chin Jared looked over at the bathroom door with a healthy skepticism. "It's cold out there." His blanket was warm and comfy and even if he could feel the sweat cooling on his forehead he wasn't looking forward to the cool air. "What will you give me?" Jared sniffed weakly and blinked up at Jensen.

“What? Me in the bath with you isn’t incentive enough?” Jensen raised his eyebrows and laughed, stepping closer to Jared. “Hmm, well, how about... a back massage? That sounds good right?”

“Okay.” Jared flipped the cover back and started to shake again. “Jesus,” he hissed. It wasn’t as easy as he thought to get up, his legs weren’t quite working the way he expected them to and he reached out for Jensen quickly only to find his husband one step ahead of him. Jensen’s arm slipped under his and helped to balance him. Jared’s vision swam a little and he leaned in heavily. “Dizzy,” he murmured.

“It’s okay.” Jensen wrapped his other arm around Jared, guiding him to the bathroom. He was a little worried what would happen if Jared passed out because even working out didn’t make him strong enough to support the dead weight of his six foot five husband. “Just lean here,” Jensen said softly as he leaned Jared back against the counter in the bathroom then moved to turn off the water.

“I’m getting you naked now,” Jensen said with a laugh and turned to Jared, pushing at his boxers. “Don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you.”

"Sadly, I think you could right now." Jared wiped at his forehead and lifted his feet one at a time. His fingers curled over Jensen's shoulder as he balanced. "You still love me?"

“Oh, Jared, I’m not going to magically fall out of love with you because you’re sick.” Jensen straighten, his fingers running over Jared’s sides. “I actually think you’re kind of adorable right now.” Stepping back, Jensen quickly shed his own clothes then guided Jared over to the tub. He climbed in first and slid to the back, spreading his legs and holding out his hand. “Come on.”

Taking Jensen's hand Jared stepped tentatively into the tub. Grimacing he lowered himself down slowly and leaned back gratefully. "Liar, it's cold," he murmured. But, Jensen's hands were soothing and moved gently over his chest and belly and Jared found it hard not to feel a little more comforted.

“It’s warm enough,” Jensen chuckled softly and slid his arms around Jared’s body. “Just relax. At least there’s bubbles.” He hummed quietly as he scooped up a palm full of bubbles and placed them on Jared’s shoulder. “What were you thinking about?”

“Hmm? When?” Jared slid down a little and ran his hands down Jensen’s legs. The water was warm enough he supposed, but having Jensen pressed up behind him made up for it.

“In the bedroom, you had that look you get when you’re really thinking about something.” Jensen gently slid his hand over Jared’s shoulders, massaging slow and deep with the press of his thumbs. “Unless that was just fever induced.”

"You. How lucky I am. How lost I'd be without you." Jared said it quietly like, somehow, that would protect _the feeling_ of it. Jensen's hands were gentle and Jared relaxed a little, turning his head so he could kiss Jensen's chin.

“Well you’ll never have to know ‘cause I’m not going anywhere.” Jensen slid his hand down Jared’s chest, resolving to give the man a better massaging later when he had more room to move. “We’re just lucky to have each other right? It’s a mutual thing.”

"Mutual," Jared echoed. His lashes drifted closed again and he smiled slightly as Jensen's hand moved over his chest. "When we get a son I'm gonna take him out on the motorcycle. I saw these things...these seat things-" Jared yawned and turned onto his side, one arm snaking up to curl around Jensen's neck. "Like a backpack to wear your son."

“When we get a son?” It was Jensen’s turn to echo and he pursed his lips for a few moments, considering his husband’s words. “So, you’re kind of getting set on that idea huh? It’s really something you want?”

"Just thoughts... sometimes I think about it. About you and kids." Jared's fingers slid into the damp hair at the nape of Jensen's neck. "You'd be a great Dad. I don't know." Jared realized he was kind of rambling and frowned. "No fair asking me stuff when I'm sick. It's like truth serum."

“I know.” Jensen smirked and dipped down, capturing Jared’s lips in a soft kiss. “I’m not completely against the idea you know, I’m just wondering how much you are into it. I suppose you are getting old.” Jensen sighed, fighting against his smile.

Letting his hands trail down over slick skin, Jared slapped weakly at Jensen's chest. "M'not old, I'm sick - _huge_ difference. Really _huge_." Finally cracking his eyes open he stared bleary-eyed up at Jensen for a few moments and then nuzzled against his jaw. “Is this bath ‘sposed to make me feel better?”

“Yes. Is it working?” Of course when Donna had given him the tips to help Jared there had been no mention of taking the bath together but whatever, he wasn’t going to leave Jared for more than a minute all day if he could help it. “You’re awake at least.”

“Yeah, but I’m still tired. My head hurts and my joints all ache. Sadly, that’s an improvement over ten minutes ago.” Jared laughed softly and slid his hand back down under the water and curled it over Jensen’s hip.

Sighing softly Jensen laid his hand over Jared’s temple, unable to really judge if he felt warmer or colder. “You gonna take care of me when I catch whatever bug it is you have?”

“Yup, I’ll call your mom and have her come over.” When Jared heard Jensen’s sharp intake of breath he laughed. “Of course I will. I _love_ taking care of you. You’re all cute and snuggly when you’re sick.”

“Somewhat like you, now.” Jensen grinned, leaning in once more to kiss Jared. “Wanna relax some more? I can talk random nonsense at you for a while.”

“Yeah, talk.” Jared’s thumb rubbed that soft spot just in front of Jensen’s hip bone and he smiled against his husband’s chest. Jared loved listening to Jensen’s rambling thought patterns, even if sometimes he found himself a little confused.

“Sometimes I have this dream and it always starts at the park, way back when. And I’m always basically the same as I was then, scrawny and seventeen and trying to pretend like I was all that which was ridiculous. It’s always me, sitting there and pretending to do my homework and not look for you. Then you show up, and instead of things going like they did, you blow me off, you know like, completely blow me off. Not the way you blew me off back then but, you know.”

Jensen laughed shakily, continuing before Jared could say anything. “Anyway you go and I’m sitting there in the gazebo crying then the dream shifts and I don’t know why I swear to God it’s like my dream gives me a total layout of what my life would have been life without you. I see all the little details, going to college, living in the dorms. Why do you think I have dreams like that? Is that really abnormal?”

Jared blinked his eyes open and leaned back a little to look up at Jensen. "I don't think it's _abnormal_ but I think your mind works overtime. It's all that creative, artisty stuff. You've got a great mind Jensen - just sometimes, it's exploring the wrong things." Jared knew what he meant but he wasn't sure if he got it across. "'Sides, if you hadn't met me you would have gone to art school and met some fabulous guy. I'm sure."

“I don’t.” Jensen shook his head, smiling softly at Jared. “I never told you but, my mom was really pushing me to go into law school. If you hadn’t come along and inspired my creativity so much, I would have given in to her. I’d totally be preparing to go to law school right now instead of married to you and showing art in a gallery. You’ve made my life better, really, in every single way.”

"Really?" Jared's brow furrowed. "You'd be a _bad_ lawyer, Jensen." He chuckled softly. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I know - you're not nearly harsh enough for that."

His expression softened slightly and he brought his hand back up to cup Jensen’s cheek. “Now, I’m extra glad that I hit on you.”

“You so did not hit on me. You nearly made me cry then you felt bad about it. Then I had to stalk you to get you to spend any time with me.” Jensen laughed and shook his head, turning to lean into the touch of Jared’s hand. “You should be super glad I wouldn’t take no for an answer from you.”

“Was all my plan to get you to want me.” Jared smiled and dropped his hand to Jensen’s chest, circling his finger around his rosy nipple. “Playin’ hard to get.”

“Oh was that what that was?” Jensen bit his lip, feeling the heat from Jared’s touch slowly spread up his body. “That makes it much clearer, thanks.” He closed his eyes for just a moment, feeling the quick start of his heart the way it always happened when Jared touched him in a certain way. “So then I suppose breaking up with me was part of the great master plan as well? Make it so I’d never want to be without you again?”

Jared's hand stilled and he pressed it over Jensen's heart. Casting his gaze up to Jensen's he smiled sadly. "No, that was the biggest mistake of my life."

Eyes snapping open, Jensen frowned slightly and shook his head. “No, you got me back. You always do. And it was even better after you did, so that’s that.” He laid his hand over Jared’s, squeezing softly. “Was just teasin’. I’ve long since forgiven you for that.”

“Jen? Do you have any regrets? I mean -you say that…you know, things are better, but if you weren’t married to me-” Jared had never voiced his fears, the guilt he felt and his voice wavered. “If you weren’t with me, that guy would never have taken you.” Without even thinking, Jared traced the scar on Jensen’s chest.

Just the thought of not being with Jared made something cold trickle in Jensen and he shook his head. “Don’t even think that way. I can’t imagine my life without you, I don’t want too. Maybe I wouldn’t have been taken but instead someone else would have been and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Or maybe I still would have been, my mom is still a cop and I would have been in school. Just, how could I possibly regret the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

Jared's vision blurred slightly and he decided to blame it on being so ill and not the passionate edge to Jensen's voice. "I love you," he said softly.

“I love you more,” Jensen murmured with a smile and another soft lingering kiss. “Now let’s get out of this bath, put you in your softest sweats and we can lie in bed and relax a while. Sound good?”

Nodding, Jared sat up and waited for Jensen to climb out before trying to stand. Feeling a bit shaky he held on to Jensen’s shoulder again and couldn’t help trembling as a warm fluffy towel was wrapped around him. “Now, m’cold.”

“I’ll make you warm again I promise.” Jensen tried not to make it sound suggestive but there was no use to that. Flicking the drain on the tub, Jensen quickly dried himself off then stood before Jared again. “I’m gonna have to dress you aren’t I?” He smirked at his husband, deciding officially that weak and needy Jared was kind of amazing.

Not even bothering to protest Jared let Jensen lead him back into the bedroom and hovered by the end of the bed shivering while Jensen found his sweats. "I hate being sick," he muttered.

“I know; it sucks. There’s so many better ways we could be spending a day together.” Jensen pulled two shirts from Jared’s drawer, slipping into one quickly before grabbing a pair of sweats and boxers. He crouched down at Jared’s feet, trying not to laugh as he helped his husband step into the items and slowly pulled them up. Holding out the shirt, he grinned at the man. “Gonna have to lose the towel if you want the shirt on.”

Scowling slightly, Jared unwrapped the towel from his body and tossed it in the general direction of the hamper. It fell short by quite a distance. "Well, I suck," he complained. Holding his arms up he let Jensen pull the shirt down over his head and sank back down on the bed. "Okay, sleep now."

“Yes, sleep for you.” Jensen headed back over to snag another pair of Jared’s boxers and slipped into them before crawling onto the bed and sliding up against Jared’s back. He started rubbing small circles along the base of his spine and slowly worked his way up. “Massage first.”

“I saw that,” Jared mumbled as he snagged Jensen’s hand and pulled his arm tight around his chest.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jensen said softly, laying his head on Jared’s back. “I’m completely innocent.”

Jared snorted softly. Any other time, he'd probably pin Jensen to the bed and retrieve his clothes because, well, it would end up being pretty hot. This time, he just closed his eyes and nestled back against Jensen's chest. "Don't think I can't take you just 'cause I'm sick."

“I’m fairly certain this is the one time I hold the advantage over you,” Jensen mumbled and pressed his lips to the shirt covering Jared’s shoulder. “I miss this. Even if you’re sick. Feels like everything just goes so fast and we hardly get moments just to lounge in bed.”

“S’good,” Jared murmured. His fingers twined with Jensen’s and he pulled their hands up to kiss Jensen’s fingers. “God, work’s gonna _suck_ tomorrow.”

“Well you can’t go if you’re still sick.” Jensen didn’t mention anything about the possibility of him being sick, he didn’t want Jared stressing even more. “They can manage without their star detective.”

Jared felt himself getting sleepy again. “Stay?”

“Until you don’t need me anymore,” Jensen whispered and slid back, tugging Jared with him until they could get under the covers. He made Jared lay in his arms and held him tightly. “Go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“And in between,” Jared mumbled. He made sure he was holding on tight to Jensen’s hand as he drifted off.

“And in between,” Jensen echoed and closed his eyes as well.


	2. Chapter 2

“Okay so you’ve got the bag?”

“Yes, Josh, for the millionth time, we’ve got the bag.” Jensen rolled his eyes while he was still facing Jared then turned back to his brother. “We have the bag, the diapers, the formula, the portable crib, pacifiers, toys, wipes, for some reason ten sets of sleepers, your number, Karen’s number, mom’s number, and Mack’s number. I honestly think you would trust me a little more by this point. Or at least Jared.”

“It’s not about trust,” Josh protested, glancing over at his wife and the little girl in her arms. “Just never let her stay with someone before.”

“Mom and Mack watch her all the time.” Jensen was starting to feel a little like a kid again but that was siblings for you he supposed. “Jared, tell my brother that we will be just fine and we aren’t planning on selling his kid to the highest bidder.”

“We’re not?” Jared grinned and leaned down to whisper, “I thought that was the plan.” When he straightened up Jared looked over at Josh. “Why _do_ we need ten sleepers, is she gonna explode?”

“Clearly Jared has never seen the hazards of burping a baby,” Karen said as she approached them. She kissed the little girl on the head before handing her to Jensen. “We know you guys will be great with her and it definitely helps us. Josh, did you give them the baby monitor?”

“It’s packed in the bag.” Josh lingered for a moment, pointing at Jensen. “If you two do, you know, just, make sure she’s set up in the other room.”

“God Josh, just how many times did Mom drop you on the head when you were little?” Jensen once more rolled his eyes, this time letting his brother see. He bounced his niece on his hip and looked over at her wide bright blue eyes. “Your Daddy is crazy.”

Josh groaned and turned to Jared, clasping his arm. “Call if you want us to come earlier tomorrow okay? Did you put my number in your cell just in case?”

“Josh, I’ve been calling you for over a year. You do know that I’m a trained professional right?” Grinning, Jared flipped his hair back off his face. “And Jensen? He’s remarkable with babies.” As a matter of fact, Jared was counting on Jensen dealing with most of the baby stuff - he just hadn’t mentioned that to Jensen.

“Jensen has never been responsible for a baby. Just you.” Josh smacked Jared’s chest with a laugh then stepped quickly forward to Jensen’s side. “Careful, you have to make sure the straps are just right.”

“Yeah we wouldn’t want her getting knocked lose when we go four wheeling on the drive home.” Jensen had rolled his eyes so many times in the last ten minutes he was going to get stuck that way. “Josh, we’re not even leaving the house tomorrow. Nothing could get us out on Black Friday. Just relax.”

“He’s just a little overprotective,” Karen said softly as she took Josh’s arm and pulled back. “Come on honey, let’s go home and get some sleep. You know I’m dragging you with me to Walmart at three am. Have a good night boys!”

Josh looked back no short of ten times as they headed back inside and once Jensen had Nicola strapped safely in he slid back and pushed the seat back before looking at Jared. “So. We ready to do this?”

“How hard can it be? It’s not like she can run away or anything. She’s so quiet and cute.” Jared grinned and leaned in to kiss Jensen quickly. “Let’s go.”

Jensen climbed in the passenger seat, waiting for his husband to get in then look over at him. “You do realize she’s not always going to be this quiet right?”

“She loves us.” Jared started up the truck and backed out of the driveway. “Besides, what if we get one someday - don’t we have to practice?” Grinning, Jared headed up the road toward their place. “You’re not scared of a little baby are you, Jensen?”

“Of course I’m not scared of the baby.” Jensen once more rolled his eyes and huffed softly, looking out the passenger window. “Its fine, I’m sure she’ll be an angel the whole time. Just don’t drive over speed bumps.” He reminded himself that being petty and a selfish little kid was something mature adults didn’t do.

It was a short drive to their house and Jared pulled into the driveway and parked closer to the door. When Jensen looked a little puzzled, Jared shrugged. “Don’t want her to get cold.” Swinging his door open he walked around the truck and waited impatiently for Jensen to get out so he could flip the seat forward.

Unbuckling the car seat, Jared lifted it out and smiled down at Nicola. “Hey baby, how you doing?”

Jensen let Jared tend to the baby as he gathered up the ridiculous amount of stuff that Josh had sent them with. He balanced the folded up portable crib and the bag of supplies _and_ the diaper bag the entire way to the door. Somehow he managed to get the door unlocked and clambered down the hall, dropping everything in the guest room then heading back to the living room.

Jared had taken Nicola out of the car seat and Jensen did have to admit he was ten times as cute holding the baby. “I think you’d make a fantastic Dad,” he said softly, leaning against the door frame. “I’m gonna set up the crib for when we need it.”

“Okay.” Jared cooed softly to Nicola and kissed her on the forehead. “She smells good,” he said as he headed over to kiss Jensen as well. “We’ll come watch.” Jared hadn’t been able to spend a lot of time with babies - he’d moved away from home early and hadn’t any friends with kids and he was kind of looking forward to their night.

Jensen almost wished Josh was there just so he could see how easily he put the crib together, even if Josh had said he’d never get it when he was showing him. The constant cooing of Jared to the baby on the bed was adorable and not at the same time. Though Jensen didn’t want to dwell too much about the wrong feeling in his chest.

Once the crib was together, he scooped up the bag and carried it to the edge of the bed. “Okay, well they recommended pre-making bottles for the night so I guess I’ll do that next.”

“You wanna hold her for a while and I’ll do that?” Jared held his finger out and rubbed Nicola’s palm and her tiny fingers closed. “God, she’s tiny,” Jared whispered. He was a bit amazed.

“Nah its okay, there will be loads of time for me to hold her.” Jensen watched Jared for a few moments longer, a little surprised by the brightness of his husband’s eyes. When that _weird_ feeling in his chest got a little tighter he picked up the bag and headed out of the room, hoping he could remember Josh’s detailed instructions about the formula making.

Trailing along behind his husband Jared frowned. “You okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Probably just ate too much. Karen out did herself.” Jensen tugged the bottles from the bag and lined them up along the counter, stooping down to get the bottle of filtered water they’d bought for Nicola’s visit. “Were you paying attention when Josh explained this?”

“Not really, are there instructions on the formula?” Rocking Nicola back and forth slowly, Jared peered into the diaper bag and rooted around. He pulled out a tub of cream and frowned at it. “Babies come with a lot of … stuff.”

“Yeah. Mack said at the baby shower Karen got so much stuff it took them days to go through it.” Jensen snorted a laugh and poor some water into a measuring cup, squinting down at the instructions on the back of the formula. “Josh has already started baby proofing, I can only imagine the chaos when she can start walking.”

“Baby proofing? What like - making sure she can’t get into stuff?” Jared looked around their living room. They didn’t live like slobs or anything but they had kind of an eclectic place, artwork and books, CDs and movies - lots of things that babies probably shouldn’t get into.

“Well if we had to baby proof our place we would...” Jensen trailed off and looked around, frowning slightly. “We’d have to live somewhere else. Or move my art stuff to our bedroom and um, get some gates? I’m not sure. Josh is setting up these hook things so she can’t open drawers and cupboards, and putting these weird plastic covers over the door knobs so she can’t turn them. Didn’t you see the padding things around the tables and stuff?”

“Yeah, I guess I just never thought about it much.” Nicola's arms kind of waved a bit frantically and Jared laughed when she made a strange sort of squeak. "Holy _cute_ ," Jared said. Laughing he stepped around Jensen and managed to wiggle himself up onto the kitchen counter. Nicole let out a little sigh and Jared laughed again.

“I guess that sort of stuff we have to factor into the baby thing.” Jensen mixed up the formula until all the clumps disappeared then tucked bottle liners inside the bottles. “I’m sure it’s easily done, we’d just have to get creative. Of course I’d be out of school, maybe we could buy me a gallery space for art then I could just go there to paint.”

Jared blinked a few times, starting at Jensen. “So I suppose I’d be the one at home looking after the baby?” Raising his eyebrows Jared smiled again, lips pressed together. Nicole made another small cry and Jared lifted her up a little gazing down at her tiny face.

“No, I guess I would paint when the baby is... well, a kid. And in school, during the days. I could watch the baby during the day, then you could do evenings and I could paint then.” Jensen shrugged and poured the bottles, satisfied that they looked like the ones Josh had made.

“Guess ya don’t get much couple time when you have a baby.” Jared sighed and brushed the backs of his fingers over Nicola’s forehead. Her little eyes scrunched up and she gurgled quietly. “I guess if it came down to it I could get a leave. They give those now - to Dads sometimes.”

“Depends on if we could afford that.” Jensen did the tops on the bottles and moved them to the fridge before turning to Jared. “So if you give her one of those we’re supposed to warm them up, Karen said ten seconds in the microwave without the top is fine.” Looking over at the mess he’d made on the counter Jensen felt tempted to groan and slump against the cabinets. It was probably because he’d eaten so much that day. Probably.

“Here, take Nic and I’ll clean up.” Jared hopped down off the counter and wandered over to Jensen. “Wanna go see Uncle Jensen?” Jared smiled down and Nicola.

“I’m good.” Jensen turned and grabbed the washrag. Honestly? He was feeling a little too silly at the moment to hold a baby - especially one that he really did adore, as an Uncle should. “You could go pick out one of the sleepers from the assortment.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Jared settled Nicola back against his chest and reached out to brush his fingers over Jensen’s cheek. Jensen seemed a little off, irritated maybe.

“I’m fine, Jared.” Looking up, Jensen gave his husband a small smile before turning and heading back down the hall to the guest room. “How do we know when to change her? Does she... smell or something?” Jensen was pretty sure he should have read a book about this before, Josh would kill him if she went home broken - even if it was just diaper rash or something.

Jared buried his face in the babies belly and sucked in a deep breath. “She smells fine to me,” he mumbled. The sweet baby smell was all around him and he grinned when he looked up at Jensen. “I think she likes me.”

“Well who wouldn’t.” Jensen laughed softly and turned to sit on the bed, picking through the additional bag of supplies. “So, couple of hours before bed for her, what do we do? What do you do with them when they’re not eating or pooping or drooling on you?”

“I can play with her for a while or something if you want to paint.” Jared looked down at the bed and climbed up carefully so he could lean back against the headboard. Laying Nicola back against his thighs he tugged her little suit straight.

Frowning, Jensen put the stuff back in the bag and stood. “Alright. Well, let me know if you need help or a bottle for her or something.” She really did look tiny lying on Jared’s legs, wiggling from side to side as she tried to figure out how to flip over. Jensen thought she looked more like Karen than Josh and he made a point of letting his sister-in-law know that Nicola wasn’t completely doomed with Josh’s genes.

Jensen turned and headed out of the room, considering the load of homework he had to finish before school on Monday. He grabbed one of the projects he’d been working on, a large plank of wood and a staple gun. The assignment required using mediums outside the norm, so Jensen had gotten a large plank and drawn on it, now he was highlighting the drawing with the staples and pressing them down into the board was oddly soothing.

It wasn’t that Jensen didn’t want kids. In fact, this time last year he had been heart set on it. Then Jared and he had spoken about it and Jensen saw the _truth_ about what it meant. As it was with their schedules, there were some days that he only saw Jared for a total of one hour. What would it be like if they adopted? Honestly, Jensen wasn’t completely sure he was okay with the idea of sharing Jared just yet.

Especially when Josh told him that after Nicola was born Karen and he hadn’t had sex for nearly three months. Jensen was really not prepared to give that up. But if Jared wanted to look into it? If he felt it was time to really start considering it? Then Jensen would listen and talk rationally about it because he loved Jared and that look he had in his eyes looking at Nicola was sweet. It was a little like how he first looked at Jensen in the beginning of their relationship, when everything was shiny and bright and full of possibilities.

Jensen stapled harder along the board to cover his long drawn out sigh. If he could just remember that he was twenty one years old and not a child, then maybe he would get over this petty little jealousy thing he had for his _niece_. God.

Jared played with Nicola as much as a six month old baby can be played with; he made a lot of strange noises, tried tickling her and counted her fingers and toes. She kind of smiled, gurgled a lot and blinked her long lashes at him as she stared bleary-eyed up at his face. "Let's go see your Uncle Jensen."

Picking her back up and settling her in the crook of his arm Jared scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up, then headed down the hall. "Jen?"

Pausing in the middle of a staple, Jensen looked back over at Jared, half smiling. “Just working on a project. Was the noise bothering her?”

"No." Jared sighed and wandered over to drop down on the couch. "I missed you. Usually we're at least in the same room," he said softly. Sliding down on the couch he settled on his back with the baby and she stretched her arms out, chubby little fingers opening and closing.

“Well this is pretty loud; I don’t want to upset her. I could work on something else for now this is all the grunt work anyway.” Jensen set the staple gun down and stood, heading for the canvas. “Josh said she could sit a little, you could try with her, or let her roll on the ground a little.”

“Come get her for me then.” Jared smiled and let his aching arms fall to his sides. “She’s kinda heavy after a while.” He frowned slight, studying his husband as he came closer.

Forcing a bigger smile on his lips, Jensen bent down and lifted Nicola, holding her up as if to inspect her. She reached out for him and Jensen’s smile felt a little more real. “Wanna roll around Nic? Maybe we’ll get you crawling, your Daddy would just _love_ that.” He held the girl with one arm and grabbed a blanket from the couch, spreading it out on the floor and laying her on her back.

Sitting beside her, Jensen reached out for his sketchbook and flipped it open. “The highlights from the game are probably on, I know you were bummed we missed it,” he said casually over his shoulder as he began to sketch the little girl.

“Rather talk to you, unless you just wanna sketch.” Jared turned onto his side and watched Jensen’s hand move over the blank page. Slowly the strokes started to appear and Jared’s eyes moved up to Jensen’s face. Grinning he watched as Jensen rolled his bottom lip under his teeth, a sure sign he was focused on his drawing.

“I can do both,” Jensen said softly, a little surprised the girl hadn’t rolled yet. She seemed mesmerized by the moving pencil in his hand. “Was weird not having Mom at Thanksgiving dinner huh?” His mom and Mack had flown out to see his grandparents, leaving just himself, Jared, Josh and Karen. And Nicola of course.

“Yeah, I like Donna. Which is kind of amazing considering the amount of time we spend together. You think she misses us?” Jared’s eyes trailed down the material stretched tight across Jensen’s back. There was something kind of crazy-hot about Jensen when he was drawing.

“Sure she does. She wanted us to go you know? Even offered to cover our airfare but I said no.” Jensen slid the edge of pencil along the chubby curve of Nicola’s cheeks on the paper, pleased with how easy she was to draw.

“You didn’t want to go?” Grunting at the effort it took, Jared slid off the couch and dropped down to his hands and knees to crawl over and lay down beside Jensen. Sliding his arm over Jensen’s back he tucked his fingers just under Jensen’s waistband.

“Wanted the time with you.” Jensen shrugged, smiling down at Jared before looking back at the sketchbook. “Then this worked out, with the babysitting, so it’s all good. Plus you hate my Grandparents.”

“I do _not_ hate them, Jensen.” Jared laughed softly and leaned in to kiss the smooth skin just behind Jensen’s ear. Taking a deep breath he nuzzled against Jensen’s hair and slipped his hand a little further under his jeans. “I’m glad we get some time together.”

“Yup.” Jensen nodded and stared down at Nicola for a long moment before setting his sketch aside. “Mom said you were going in this weekend to make up for when you were sick.” Jensen shifted toward the baby and sat her up, holding her hands to keep her upright.

Sighing, Jared pulled back slightly and propped his chin up on his hands. “What’s goin’ on with you?” He watched Nicola half smile and wobble as she tried to balance herself.

“Nothing, I was just checking to see if you were really going in this weekend. ‘Cause it’s fine, I can just, do homework and drag Chris shopping.” Jensen released Nicola’s hands and hesitated, keeping his hands up in case she fell. “You see the sketch?”

“Can we spend some time together? I had this idea - was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner and a movie. It’s been a really long time since we did that.” Jared reached out and fiddled with the end of Nicola’s sock and laughed when she tilted too far back and Jensen had to catch her.

“Sure that sounds nice. We could do that Saturday night or something.” Jensen wasn’t sure exactly what his issue was but he was getting a little fed up with himself. “You want to take her again? I’m gonna go shower.”

“Guess so.” Jared sighed and reached out for Nicola’s hands. She wobbled slightly and balanced herself and he let go of one of her hands. “Uncle Jensen is gonna go hide again ‘cause he doesn’t want to tell Uncle Jared what’s wrong,” he said in a sing song voice to the baby.

Rolling his eyes, Jensen looked over at his husband and shook his head, flipping his sketchbook closed. “It doesn’t matter Jared. I’m just feeling off, I’ll get over it.”

“If it doesn’t matter, why not tell me?” Jared hooked his leg over Jensen’s and kept him there. Nicola wobbled again and Jared reached out for her hand quickly. “She’s not very good at this.”

“It’s just gonna take time, for her to get it I mean.” Jensen pushed at Jared’s leg but of course there was no budging it. He could feel heat crawling up and staining his cheeks and he peered down at the ground, fidgeting with the cuff on his jeans. “I’m jealous,” he muttered, barely voicing the words.

“Huh?” Jared’s eyes widened slightly and he shifted up until he could cross his legs and then picked Nicola up and set her in his lap. “You’re jealous?” Jared knew that he would get in a real shit load of trouble if he smiled or laughed so he concentrated on the baby and kept his eyes off the rosy flush on Jensen’s cheek.

The heat of embarrassment only intensified and Jensen groaned, shaking his head. “God, see, just forget it. Its fine, I’m fine, let’s move on.” He knew Jared well enough to read all of his little body language signs, unspoken words, practically everything about Jared; Jensen knew. It was probably killing him, the desire to tease Jensen about being jealous of a _baby_. “I’m getting a drink, you want anything?

Sliding his arm around Nicola's little tummy, Jared held on to her carefully and lifted his gaze to Jensen's. Reaching out he curled his fingers around the back of Jensen's neck and tugged him forward hard into a kiss. As annoyed and embarrassed as Jensen was, his lips still parted for Jared and their mouths were crushed together for a few long moments. Nicola made a little squeak and squirmed in Jared's lap.

Jared tasted like all the things Jensen loved about Thanksgiving which was a little weird but mostly pleasing. And he wanted nothing more then to push Jared back and crawl up into his lap and demand Jared make him feel better. But of course Nicola was already occupying his lap and he pulled back after a few minutes, eyeing his husband. “Josh would lose it if he knew you kissed me with her on your lap.”

Laughing Jared let his hand slide down Jensen’s chest. “She’s not gonna explode and I highly doubt she’ll be traumatized.” Slipping his hands under the babies arms Jared held her up so her little feet were paddling uselessly as she tried to stand without really knowing what she was doing. “Nothing wrong with her seeing love.” Jared beamed at Jensen and tilted his head to the side a little. He deliberately let his hair fall over his eyes, knowing that Jensen loved it.

“Yes, I know, you’re freaking adorable.” Jensen laughed softly and shook his head. “What do you want Jared? I wasn’t lying; one kiss doesn’t make it go away. I don’t know, I guess I just think you’re wrong.”

“What am I wrong about?” Jared’s smile faded slightly and he settled Nicola back in his lap. She managed to get hold of the edge of his sleeve and he held his hand there so she could tug and twist at the fabric.

“Saying I’ll be a good Dad. I don’t think I will. I just don’t think I have what it takes to open my life to someone else. Honestly, think about our lives. Today is the first day we’ve really had together in months that doesn’t include you having a fever or me being kidnapped. I just don’t know.” Jensen trailed off with a weak sigh, once more picking at his jeans.

"Kind of sounds like an episode of some crazy TV show." Jared rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip and shrugged. "Well, we don't have to have a kid or anything. We can just babysit and we'll be the best Uncles ever." Jared wasn't sure when Jensen's mind had changed again; sometimes, he wasn't sure he could keep up with how Jensen felt about having kids.

“What do you want?” Jensen looked up at Jared finally and tried to read the emotion on his face. “Just ignore all the parts about me, you know, everything I just said. What do _you_ want?”

Letting out a small sigh Jared brushed his hair back off his face and picked up Nicola when she started to fret. Laying her against his chest he patted her back. "I want you to be happy," he said softly and kissed the babies head. "I think she's hungry, or something."

Sure, Jared could feel a little disappointment nudging at him; but he could see the point Jensen had made. They didn’t have a lot of time together - and this certainly wasn’t the first time it had come up. Things would probably get worse once Jensen was trying to really make it as an artist. Smiling, Jared pressed his cheek to the baby’s silky soft hair. “Wanna heat it up for her?”

“Sure.” Jensen stood and head out of the living room, grabbing a bottle from the fridge. He hated when Jared said things like he just wanted Jensen happy. It wasn’t fair, because Jensen wanted Jared happy too and it wasn’t any sort of answer.

Once the bottle was warm he brought it back out to Jared and held it out. “I’m being to rash on the situation. There’s no reason we can’t make it work. If I sell some stuff before I graduate we can make a fund. And I can look for a real job, with normal business hours, art teacher or something. I’m sure we could make it happen.”

"I don't want a kid," Jared said softly. "I mean, I do, but I don't. There's - shit, I mean, damn." Jared took the bottle and fumbled around trying to get Nicola into the right position. Her little cheeks were flushed and she let out a small cry and kind of broke Jared's heart. "Help, Jensen."

Dropping down Jensen took Nicola from Jared and cradled her in his arms, slipping the bottle into her mouth. “What do you mean? You do and you don’t?”

“Well, I’m selfish. I like having time with you, us being able to do what we want whenever we want. And. I mean-” Jared sighed, dropping his gaze. “I like that you look at me the way you were before, all possessive. Like - you don’t every want anyone to come between us. I like that and I don’t want to share you. It doesn’t mean I don’t _want_ a kid, part of me does - but I feel like it’s a choice - giving up one really fantastic thing for another.” Lifting his gaze finally, Jared smiled and shrugged a shoulder. “Does that sound crazy?”

“No, it doesn’t.” Jensen matched Jared’s smile, looking up at him then down at Nicola. “Part of me wants a kid too and maybe one day, later on. I just think, what happens if I sell a painting for a lot of money, wouldn’t you love to just be able to go out of the country with it? And before we consider adoption we should have a house all our own.” Looking back up at Jared, Jensen leaned forward to gently kiss him. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with us being selfish right now.”

"So, I guess it's a no for now then, huh." Jared wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed or a mixture of both. Scooting over he leaned back against the couch and pulled Jensen back to rest against his chest. "She likes you more than she likes me." He peered over Jensen's shoulder and listened to the sucking sounds Nicola was making.

“Are you kidding me? With the way you were looking at her like she was the best thing in the entire world? She can feel that I’m sure.” Jensen sank back against Jared, closing his eyes for a moment. “Are you mad?”

“No, why would I be mad? Jensen, you’re twenty-one, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you yet. Why rush into big commitments?” Lips to Jensen’s temple, Jared kissed his softly.

“That’s my thing though.” Jensen chuckled softly and kept his eyes closed. He didn’t think he would be changing his mind for a while on the issue but it was nice to enjoy the time with the little girl who seemed to rapidly be falling asleep. “You’ll just tell me right? If you feel the desire to adopt, and you just can’t wait anymore?”

“I’ll tell you.” Jared laughed quietly and leaned down to brush his lips against Jensen’s ear. “She’s trying not to fall asleep,” he whispered. He watched as Nicola sucked frantically on the bottle then slowed and stopped only to start again.

“I hope she passes out. And sleeps all night. Probably too much to ask for.” Jensen sighed softly and shifted back against Jared. “Just want some you and me time. I’m far too selfish.”

Flicking his tongue along the back of Jensen's ear, Jared slid his hand down between them and into Jensen's back pocket. "She's gotta sleep at some point," he murmured.

“I can tell she’s almost there.” The little girl felt heavier in his arms and he forced himself to breathe softer, to not move too much. “She is cute.”

Smiling, Jared sucked gently on the skin just below Jensen’s ear, fingers kneading the firm muscle of his ass. “How you gonna get her in the crib,” he whispered.

“Very carefully,” Jensen breathed, his eyes fluttered closed for a moment as Jared’s lips returned to his neck, moving over his skin and leaving a trail of heat. “Jared,” he half whispered, the slightest hint of a moan deepening the words. “You’re making it hard to concentrate.”

“I can stop,” Jared whispered. But he didn’t stop; he just breathed slowly, lips brushing the short soft hairs at the nape of Jensen’s neck.

“Just help me get her in bed and then you don’t have to stop anything.” Jensen slowly pushed himself up, trying to keep his upper body as still as possible as he stood. Nicola was complete out but with every little movement she sucked fast at the bottle again, her face scrunching up and reminding Jensen of his brother. “It’s a good thing we don’t have a dog.”

“I thought we wanted a dog,” Jared said quietly. Steadying Jensen with one hand he climbed up to his feet and followed him down the hallway.

“Well yeah, we do and I’m so for getting one. Just, right now, a dog would complicate this situation. Because you probably want some giant mutt that would wake up the dead when he galloped down the hallway.” Jensen bit back his laugh, just to be safe.

Covering his mouth to muffle his laughter, Jared let Jensen get ahead of him. It was just the visual image of Jensen, holding a baby and trying to fight of a gigantic dog. Especially, grumpy Jensen - who was _absolutely_ adorable - but _God_.

“Yeah, hilarious.” Jensen shook his head but it was a funny thought and he was sure Jared was picturing it.

They made it to the crib without waking Nicola thankfully and Jensen bent as slowly as he could, gently laying the girl down on the spread out blanket. He held his breath as he straightened up, looking over at Jared with wide eyes. “I think it worked.”

“Now what? Will she like wake up to be changed?” Jared peered down at the little girl, watching her tiny mouth move just slightly.

“I think so? They gave us the baby monitor, so we could hear if she cries?” Jensen walked over to the bag, nearly tripping and catching himself just in time. Both Jared and he froze at the noise then slowly looked at Nicola who stirred but fell back asleep within moments. “Fuck, this is not a job for someone as klutzy as either of us.”

Laughing softly Jared looked around. “Wait. Is that like in that movie? _Signs_? Are we gonna call aliens?” Trying to suppress his grin Jared reached over and squeezed Jensen’s ass.

Nearly jumping, Jensen straightened up and spun to Jared, poking him in the chest. “Save the funny business for after we get this thing hooked up. ‘Cause I’m not putting out if she wakes up.” Jensen plugged the monitor into the wall then headed for the door, hoping they could get some real solid time together without Nicola waking.

“You got the walkie talkie bit? Should we leave the door open in case it doesn’t work? How do we know if it worked?” The idea of having a baby in the house depending on them was kind of catching up to Jared. Smiling weakly he leaned toward the door and listened as they both backed out carefully.

“Why don’t you go in there and I’ll go in our room. We’ll close the doors and you say something. If I can hear you then it worked.” Jensen grinned up at his husband, amused by their complete inability to handle something as simple as a baby monitor.

Narrowing his eyes, because he wasn’t entirely sure he trusted Jensen with that grin on his face, Jared slipped back into the room. Turning at the last second he poked his head back out and whispered, “Go then!”

Swallowing down a laugh, Jensen hurried into the bedroom and shut the door. He turned the volume up on the monitor and set it on the dresser. Then, before Jared could say anything, he quickly undressed. It wasn’t like his husband would be _that_ surprised to come in the room and find him naked; they both knew exactly what Jensen was like.

Creeping carefully over to the crib, Jared crouched down and got as close to the baby monitor as he could and whispered. "Jensen, I'm staring at the baby." He shrugged and waited, then realized it was one way. Rolling his eyes at himself he back away from the crib slowly and sneaked out the door pulling it almost closed.

Crossing the hall quickly he opened the bedroom door and almost hopped in. "Did you- oh, _hello_."

“I heard you.” Jensen rolled his lips together, struggling not to smile. “Were you waiting for me to answer?” He stepped toward Jared, not even bothering to hide any part of himself from Jared.

“No, well.” Jared walked closer, eyes trailing up and down Jensen’s body. “Maybe I was waiting for a few seconds for an answer.” His hands smoothed over the skin just above Jensen’s hips and Jared pulled his husband in close.

“Wise ol’ cop you are,” Jensen murmured and slipped his hand under Jared’s shirt, pushing higher up to get skin on skin. “Gonna make up for my jealousy?” He dipped forward, sucking kisses along Jared’s neck and shamelessly rubbing up against him.

“I’ll show you old,” Jared growled. Moving quickly he slid his hands under Jensen’s ass and lifted him up, waiting only a moment for Jensen’s legs to wrap around him before moving toward the bed. His mouth moved to Jensen’s neck immediately, drawn there by the flush of blood just under the surface of the man’s skin. “Maybe I’ll just keep you here and kiss you all night … tease you.”

“You’d never do that,” Jensen protested through a soft moan, tipping his head back and clutching a little harder to Jared. He still got a thrill out of the man’s ability to lift him so easily. “You don’t want to test my patience.” Because they both knew Jensen still lacked any patience.

“You don’t have any.” Jared laughed softly, fingers gripping his husband’s ass tightly. He stood there, rocking Jensen a little from side to side, making sure his already half hard cock was caught between their bodies. His lips dragged up the side of Jensen’s neck, sucking along his jaw until he could press a gentle kiss to the corner of plush lips.

Moaning low in his throat, Jensen reminded himself that there was a sleeping baby across the hall so he could only be so loud. “I’m better than- oh god - I used to be.” It would sound a lot more convincing if he wasn’t moaning out the words and trying to writhe against Jared impatiently.

“Say _I’m not patient at all Jared._ ” Jared licked along Jensen’s bottom lip then nipped at it, still holding Jensen pressed tight to him.

Digging his fingers into Jared’s hair, Jensen clutched as tight as he could and chased after Jared’s lips, kissing him hard. When Jared’s tongue slid forward Jensen pulled back, shaking his head. “No.”

"What a shame," Jared whispered against Jensen's lips. His fingers slid into the warm cleft of Jensen's ass. "I really wanted to fuck you tonight... but you know, if you're so patient we'll just have to do other stuff. For a _long_ time." Jared crushed his mouth against Jensen's, tongue shoving past those perfectly swollen lips and sweeping through the wet heat.

Moaning into the kiss, Jensen pushed his tongue back against Jared’s, fighting for control of the kiss until he realized there was no winning. After all, he was the naked one, and they both knew he would cave before Jared would. Unless he fought against that urge too, but even then he doubted he would last. He squeezed his legs tight around Jared and sucked over his tongue, scraping his nails along Jared’s scalp in the way he liked so much.

Shivering with pleasure Jared swayed slightly and took a step toward the bed. When his shins bumped into the mattress he pulled back from the kiss and smiled slightly lowering Jensen's down until he fell back on his back. Jensen was nothing if not completely _delicious_ looking when he was turned on. There wasn't a part of his body that wasn't painted pink with desire, his rigid flesh weeping, and his eyes - those heavy lashes kissing his cheeks.

Licking his bottom lip, Jared shook his head slightly. "Fuck it, I lose."

He kneeled down beside the bed and grabbed Jensen's thighs, dragging him roughly to the edge of the bed. His mouth hovered over, Jensen's cock for a few moments then he swept his tongue up the over-heated length of hard flesh.

Jensen _almost_ wished Jared’s mouth wasn’t on his cock so he could have a moment to savor the victory of winning the patience battle but hell, he wasn’t complaining. His hips moved up toward Jared, fingers curling in the blanket around him as he struggled to get deeper. “God, Jared,” he moaned, too loud, and just barely bit the sound off. Jared’s mouth was too hot and still not enough all at once, as it always was, and Jensen bit his lip to keep from begging for more.

Crawling up Jensen's body, Jared skipped kisses across Jensen's flesh. There was something incredibly hot about still being half dressed while Jensen was naked, and spread out there, pinned. Holding himself up over Jensen's body he smiled down at his husband. "You should be quieter."

“Wow, never heard you say that before,” Jensen half laughed the words, hands running up Jared’s sides. “Usually you tell me there is no loud enough.”

“Usually, I’m not worried about waking a baby and _not_ getting what I want.” Lowering himself down onto Jensen’s body, Jared licked his way back into the wet heat of Jensen’s mouth. Sliding his hand down his husband’s lithe body, Jared moaned and rolled slightly. Tugging on the button of his jeans and pushing at the zipper with a frustrated groan he pulled back from the kiss to gaze down into Jensen’s eyes. “Touch me,” he said softly.

“Gladly,” Jensen murmured and slipped his hand under the edge of Jared’s jeans, helping him push the offending material off. He arched up into the heat of his husband’s body, capturing Jared’s lips in a kiss once more as his fingers slid along Jared’s hip. He laughed into the kiss as Jared tried to kick out of his jeans without pulling away. To make it easier on him, Jensen slid a hand between them and curled his fingers over Jared’s cock, stroking slowly.

"God," Jared whispered. His hands were shaky as he struggled and finally rolled his eyes when he managed to get out of his jeans. "You just ... you _wreck_ me, Jensen." Laughing softly, Jared leaned in again. "Now, where were we..."

“Remind me,” Jensen whispered back before their lips met, bodies pressing together once more. Jensen couldn’t help rocking up against Jared, trying to get every inch of heat against his own. His fingers once more dug into Jared’s hair, tightening and releasing and Jensen pulled back with a soft gasp. “I’m not patient at all, Jared.” He smirked with the words, hands moving constantly over Jared’s skin.

Jared's lips twitched into a smile and he rolled forward again, covering Jensen's body with his. "Good," he muttered. It only took him a few moments to find the lube in its usual spot, flip the top open and slick up his fingers. Taking most of his weight on one arm he reached down slowly, watching Jensen's body shiver as he moved his hand lower. "Make sure you're quiet," he whispered against Jensen's lips as he thrust two fingers deep into his lover.

“Jesus-” Jensen cut off sharply, forearm dropping over his mouth. It was just _like_ Jared to do something so hot and mean, in the best ways. He bit down hard on his skin, stifling his usual loud moan as Jared’s fingers wasted no time in spreading him, pressing in further, stroking over his prostate and making Jensen’s vision blur. His free hand slapped out to Jared’s arm, clutching hard as he rocked down against Jared’s fingers - not caring how needy it made him look.

Smiling, panting softly just from _watching_ Jensen's body thrash, Jared leaned down and nosed Jensen's arm out of the way so he could claim his mouth in a deep kiss. A third finger slid into Jensen's heat and Jared _loved_ the way Jensen's hips pushed up off the mattress to press his shaft into Jared's hip.

Jensen didn’t bother trying to quiet his moan, just allowed Jared to drink up the noise as his body got lost in sensation. In the beginning of their relationship Jensen had been spoiled with the free time they had to savor this. More and more recently though busy life had kept them - not at all by choice - from really enjoying this. So there was the faintest sting to the stretch and it was driving Jensen crazy. “Jare,” he gasped into the kiss, clenching his muscles around Jared’s fingers.

Moving swiftly, Jared pulled his hand back and ran it over his own aching shaft before rolling onto his back and bringing Jensen with him. Their eyes locked for a moment, and the smile on Jensen's face was beautiful. Reaching up Jared caught the back of Jensen's neck and drew him down slowly into the most gentle kiss then whispered. "I love you."

“I love you too,” Jensen whispered then sat back, reaching behind him to grasp Jared and hold him in place as he sank down. Jensen’s eyes slid closed as Jared filled him, the feeling familiar and just as bright burning as it always was. He grabbed Jared’s hand and lifted it, sucking two clean fingers into his mouth to stifle his moans.

Jared pushed up hard against Jensen's body, lashes fluttering closed as Jensen's tongue worked around his fingers. _Jesus_ , one day he would just _die_ of the pleasure overload. Gripping Jensen's hip tightly with his free hand, Jared moaned softly. Watching the pink ring of Jensen's lips tight around his fingers was about as intoxicating as the silky feel of the man's ass.

Gently scraping his teeth over Jared’s finger, Jensen watched the color deepen on his cheeks. Jared’s eyes were fixed on every move of his lips as he continued to slowly ride him. Jared’s skin was just the right side of salty, lingering with a faint sweet from the pie at dinner and Jensen moaned once more. He pushed his body back up and dropped down, clenching around Jared with each quickening thrust.

Heart pounding in his chest, Jared dug his thumb hard into Jensen's hip and thrust up hard off the mattress. Each snap of his hips brought him a wave of pleasure, and his skin was tingling with the heat of it all. Fingers splayed wide, he slid his hand down to Jensen's cock and stroked in time with the rocking of Jensen's body.

Jensen had to pull Jared’s fingers from his mouth because his attention was being spread far too thin for the moment. He pressed his hands against Jared’s chest, fingers digging into his skin with each thrust. “Jared,” Jensen moaned, biting on his lip a moment later to keep from calling out like usual. They were rapidly falling into a needy, jerky pace, both desperate for as much pleasure as they could get. “Kiss-” he gasped, head dropping down so he could blink through the lust blur of his vision.

The air shot out of Jared's lungs and he pushed up slightly, lips finding Jensen's quickly. The kiss was hot and slick, rough, Jensen's tongue slipping forward so quickly Jared moaned around it. His hips were firing up off the bed, Jensen's body rocking back onto his hard flesh time and time again.

Jared swallowed up the sweet noises Jensen made, lapped at the moans with his tongue. When he felt like he couldn't wait a second longer, Jensen sat back and ground his hips in a small circle that sent Jared toppling over into his pleasure. As his fingers slid up Jensen's cock, Jared came hard. His body tightened, mouth opening wide against Jensen's to gasp and moan.

The feel of Jared coming deep within him had Jensen’s release slamming hard against his senses. His breath hitched, a loud moan building but Jared knew him well and his hand pressed against the back of Jensen’s neck, holding him into the kiss to muffle the noise. His release was sticky warm between them as Jensen continued a slow rock through the aftermath.

“God, Jared,” he whispered against his husband’s mouth, rolling his forehead against Jared’s slowly.

“Quiet sex isn’t so bad,” Jared whispered. His hand was still gripping Jensen’s neck, their lips moving together gently as they spoke.

“Not sure any sex with you could be bad,” Jensen murmured, sucking in a slow breath. “You’re the hottest thing in the entire world.”

Laughing softly Jared shifted slightly beneath Jensen and pulled free of the intense heat. “That was … really fucking good.” He laughed a little louder and with one hand gripping Jensen’s ass, pulled him in for another slow, lingering kiss.

Jensen kissed his husband until his lips were tingling and he couldn’t help smiling as he pulled back. “Guess it was just the right mixture of quiet and jealousy and needy. Love when you don’t have patience either.”

“I have a lot of patience,” muttered. “I just didn’t want to wa-” A sudden outburst from the baby monitor made Jared jump. “Jesus she’s got lungs.” Nicola’s cry got a little louder and Jared looked up at his husband.

Rolling his bottom lip under his teeth, Jensen sighed and slowly pushed himself up. “I guess I can take the first round.” He really wasn’t sure how often the little girl was going to wake during the night but at least they got to finish having sex first. “But I’m wearing your clothes.”

“You say that like you _don’t_ wear them all the time.” Jared rolled his eyes and let his arms fall slowly away from Jensen’s warmth.

“Don’t give me the lip, _sir_. I’m the one who just rode you and was nice enough to take the first shift with her,” Jensen grumbled and bent down to grab Jared’s just worn boxers and a shirt from his drawer. “My legs are still shaking. If the screaming gets louder you better come make sure I’m still alive.” Jensen laughed as he headed out of the room, calling out for his niece.

She stopped crying nearly the moment Jensen lifted her but he went and got a bottle for her just in case. There was a chair in the guest room that Jensen decided to sit in while he fed her and he hummed softly, not sure what was most soothing for the girl. He yawned as he dropped down in the chair and curled his arm tighter around the baby, holding the bottle for her to drink from.

She only drank a little before she was fussing once more and Jensen wondered if he could remember the proper way Josh had shown him to burp a baby. He brought the girl up to his chest and reclined back, gently rubbing over her back with soft pats as he closed his eyes, just because. This wasn’t so hard; he could totally handle the babysitting thing.

Jared waited a while then rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed. The baby monitor was quiet and he reached down to tug on some sweats. Yawning he sat back down on the bed for a few more minutes, fighting sleep then finally pushed up and headed across the hall quietly.

The door to the spare room was open and Jensen was in the chair. As Jared got closer, squinting in the dimly lit room he realized that Jensen had Nicola in his arms. Her small hand was on Jensen's chest, fingers opening and closing as she gazed up at him while he slept.

Pressing his hand to his heart Jared sighed and laughed softly.


End file.
